I though teenage boys would eat anything!

You would think two fifteen year old boys would eat anything- especially since my definition of everything was smothered in cheese. But apparently I was wrong.


I’m once again in the middle of a crazy diet cycle. I’m losing weight but I’m starving. Everything smells good. My portion seems more like an appetizer than a full course. I’m pretty sure I will never again feel full.

Recently Big Al was on the road and I decided I would try something new in the kitchen. I fried up a couple of pounds of hamburger, chopped up a big onion and smothered the whole pan in cheese. To serve the goopy goodness I bake taco shells and sliced a head of lettuce.

Mind you, this looked like a feast to my baked chicken and grapefruit palette. The Marble men turned up their noses. Unbelievable.

These are teenage boys who believe microwave popcorn is both a first course and a dessert. They’ve never, until now, met a meal they didn’t like.

It must have been my own calorie deprivation that got the best of me. I’m operating on so low, a low-fat diet that I’m afraid to use hand lotion. I haven’t had a fried food in such a great amount of time, that with one taste I would probably pass out from sheer joy. Too bad the twins did’t feel the same.

Since I’ve never believed my kitchen is a short-order restaurant, I offered them the usual picky eater option. They could have any leftover they could scrounge, a peanut butter sandwich, or if really desperate make popcorn their main meal for the evening.

Once again I’ll claim hunger in making the above offer sound something more like lines uttered in the Exorcist movie rather than the voice of a loving and understanding mother. I considered waving my overcooked, backed chicken slice over the pan of simmering cheese, but the possibility of weighing heavier the next morning made me hesitate and move my place to the other side of the kitchen counter.

I tried to salvage my cheesy, fried meat one-pan extravaganza, but it was a lost cause. It's a good thing the boys don’t like food that is disastrous nutritionally. Even better news, maybe they’ll be smarter than their mom, always eating well and never needing to "crazy diet."