Queen Me

Some friends and I have decided to form an online book club this summer. We were looking for a way to keep in touch, learn a little bit more about each other, while still not interfering with the relaxed or harried (depending on your stage in life) May through August months. The book we’ve chosen to read is Queen of Your Own Life by Cindy Ratzlaff and Kathy Kinney.

I’m one of those people that hate spoiling surprises. I love the anticipation of birthdays and Christmas. Unless Big Al and the kids made me open any presents, they would all still be there – waiting, full of expectation and possibilities. Not so much with books.

Books scream at me to be read. I cannot wait to, at the very least read the preface, then maybe just the first chapter. So it’s no surprise to me that in the middle of April, before the rest of the group has begun in earnest to read “our” book, I’m three chapters into it.

The premise of the book is that through a humorous and thoughtful look at the first half of your life, you can set out to make the second half better that the first. I’ll be 45 this summer and so far the majority of my female relatives, grandmothers and great-grandmothers have lived well into their late 80s and early 90s. Theoretically, I’m halfway there.

In the third chapter the authors ask the readers to think of their mountaintop moments, those defining times through which we subsequently view all the following days and moments. Instead of seeing those instances as inherently negative, which often times they are, an alternative viewpoint is of a road blockade and a sign which reads “road closed – please turn left here.”

The next Chapter three exercise instructs readers to think of ten women they admire and why. The “why” is the important part. What are those key attributes about each admirable woman that make them so special.

The first attempt, my list well exceeded 10. I then narrowed my list over the course of one afternoon this weekend. It was interesting to see that the majority of my top 10 were from Neosho. Some I know well and for many years, while others might find my appreciation surprising.

Attributes such as joyful, trustworthy, sincere, happy, kept rising to the surface when considering this group of women.

The last part of the exercise is to review one last time the reasons why the list of ten were selected, finding the four attributes that best describe yourself.

Now there’s the tough part. It was easy for me to pick a list of women who I think highly of and narrow down why each one is special, but I always find self-reflection uncomfortable.

Book clubs are good in that they help broaden our appreciation for ideas we may have never considered on our own. They’re also proving useful in practicing my queenly state of mind. I’m looking forward to a second act filled with joy, happiness, and loyal friends.